tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-241979268165703792024-03-13T00:16:46.648+00:00Wry MummyMum of three, master of none.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.comBlogger123125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-59440428111866827622015-02-13T12:35:00.005+00:002015-02-13T12:35:58.213+00:00How To Make Reading Fun With Star Wars<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfHpjem0nq25Cf8KMbQzmNgw6j2nhLT9Nfs-V4fkk9i96l8ibFo_lsSBI08A1o-_AXf7UgoSieI9TWLPETxV92QyeO09QnCQ_LC1FON8JkGZdg-qBeZ52cnckdxBud7h2XdpZqMGiw1w/s1600/Star+Wars+Darth+edited.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfHpjem0nq25Cf8KMbQzmNgw6j2nhLT9Nfs-V4fkk9i96l8ibFo_lsSBI08A1o-_AXf7UgoSieI9TWLPETxV92QyeO09QnCQ_LC1FON8JkGZdg-qBeZ52cnckdxBud7h2XdpZqMGiw1w/s1600/Star+Wars+Darth+edited.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Teaching your child to read is one of the joys of parenting. When we got our first reading book home in Reception, we were all bright-eyed and excited. Each word was a miracle and every little progression was a cause for celebration. But it can also be a struggle. How do you interest your child in reading, when all your encouragement and setting-an-example efforts just seem to be turning him or her off even more?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Some children are reluctant readers. I’ve heard this from teachers, friends, other mums - and observed it in my own family. Some people say, “it’s just boys”, but I disagree. I have three boys, two at school: one is mad keen on reading, the other needs both the carrot and the stick to open a book.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I find this hard to understand or deal with, as I was a prolific reader as a child and have loved books ever since. But, funnily enough, the “When I was your age…” and “Think how good it would feel to be able to read this by yourself!” arguments are not cutting it with my son.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Ironically, but on the plus side, he is massively interested in <i>books</i>. He loves nothing more than to be read to, and has done ever since he was born. His teachers have commented on how he loves to listen to stories. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It’s just the reading himself that’s the problem.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We’ve tried various things:</span></div>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">everyday reading, i.e. spotting words out and about to practice reading</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">reward charts</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">bribes</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">magazines (He just wants the toy. Which then breaks.)</span></li>
<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">letter cards and word-making</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">the<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> list goes on…</span></span></li>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">He just wants to play with his Star Wars Lego.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Which gave my husband a brainwave: </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We could use the force to teach our son to love reading!</span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUafT1uXUnecvejVJATxSmR5a7I6JglcZuweSAdIyFlguGzXO9P9gHpDdWfoh_DWjjOYfJXGJdGuvikehnZei70doQxdX399bneo2lKigg_b4W3CoISRZL3bquH5pnqHg1SzSEl6N3Hg/s1600/Star+Wars+Two+Books.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUafT1uXUnecvejVJATxSmR5a7I6JglcZuweSAdIyFlguGzXO9P9gHpDdWfoh_DWjjOYfJXGJdGuvikehnZei70doQxdX399bneo2lKigg_b4W3CoISRZL3bquH5pnqHg1SzSEl6N3Hg/s1600/Star+Wars+Two+Books.JPG" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Our lovely boy was very excited when we showed him the new books. He couldn’t wait for us to read them to him. Which we did, for the first couple of times. Then we started asking him to finish sentences for us…Then read a whole line by himself. Or see how many times Luke’s name appeared, or Darth Vader’s. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It really helped engross him in the book, and most importantly, to realise that he CAN read, even if it’s not a book from school. It sounds obvious, but it’s an important connection for children to make, that the words they read in their school reading books, reappear in other books. Not every book is learning from scratch. Pointing this out to your child will help boost his confidence. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Obviously, Star Wars books might not appeal to your child. Thomas the Tank Engine might be more their bag. Or Frozen.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But it’s worth a try.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNHLDKNVvxv-yMPsWPeX2V5fei382VP2hjEzABpSRHHpD3iTjVyOo88BGjZwg4GDgoOzxhfzT432lCCVuE7LftFMnv5iK9_YCZyMjm4UDNzep-LIdiWrvp0XjxVaeOL0gkPXqyHm3mbw/s1600/Star+Wars+Return+of+the+Jedi+book+cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNHLDKNVvxv-yMPsWPeX2V5fei382VP2hjEzABpSRHHpD3iTjVyOo88BGjZwg4GDgoOzxhfzT432lCCVuE7LftFMnv5iK9_YCZyMjm4UDNzep-LIdiWrvp0XjxVaeOL0gkPXqyHm3mbw/s1600/Star+Wars+Return+of+the+Jedi+book+cropped.jpg" height="640" width="460" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">These books are perfectly pitched at Star Wars and Lego fans. The stories of the films are retold in a simplified narrative that makes the plot easy to understand. In fact, I now finally get it myself - I don’t know about you, but despite having seen the films countless times, I’m pretty sketchy on the storyline. But it doesn’t matter if you and your child haven’t seen the films - these books are a good introduction to the whole Star Wars world, without the concern of your child being scared or confused by the film. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Short sentences and a small number of words on each page really help the nascent reader. Each page is illustrated with a colourful Lego reenactment, which really captures my son’s imagination and would impress any fan of the tiny bricks.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">At 40 pages long, they are a good length for a bedtime story but quite a challenge for a child to finish all in one go at first. But the story is exciting enough to make my son want to start where he left off at the next reading session. I find this really helps - rather than having to spark an interest in a new book, you can discuss with your child what happened the last time, and talk about what you think is going to happen next. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My husband being a purist, we have the original trilogy: A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, but all six stories are available. The three are aimed at Level 1, Level 2 and Level 3 readers, respectively, which makes them a good way of motivating your child and measuring progress. Once we’d read A New Hope (Level 1), my son was keen to find out what happens next, and it was useful to be able to encourage him to attain new levels by the promise that he could read the next instalment. I would say a child in Year 1 or Year 2 (age 6-7) would be able to read these books, with a little help on unusual words.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The publisher, Dorling Kindersley, recommends the books for children aged 4 and up. I would say this is fair, but you would have to decide whether your 4-year-old would understand / be interested in the story as obviously children at this age vary enormously. My 5- and 7-year old boys both love them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Our son is not yet flying through <i>Treasure Island </i>on his own, and it has taken some time, but he is a lot more willing to have a go at reading a book than he was. And, as many of you may know, that is often the biggest hurdle.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Do you find interesting your child in reading a challenge? Whatever tactics you use:</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">May the force be with you.</span></b></div>
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<i style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Disclosure: This is not a sponsored post. We bought these books, which are published by Dorling Kindersley (2014), with our own money and all words and views are my own.</span></i></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><a href="http://wrymummy.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/how-to-carve-angry-bird-piggy-death.html" target="_blank">How To Carve An Angry Bird Piggy Death Star Pumpkin</a></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-37743323116016317962015-02-11T19:44:00.000+00:002015-02-11T19:44:17.246+00:00I Can't See You, Mum, Therefore I Can't Hear You WickedWednesdays #5<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOW2CwpROZmqGFfkKYjyTUygLx4Z3DDc8bhZcuT3O1qaiTZuluz0tp0qTwMN4mPdiPq7iS2ZXTYkAfIdKrbDhUPtYq90AUAJJTRq7rNiF4jSYpLqDsHkPPK7auWVWzOrPKH5YBBghGIQ/s1600/WW5+cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOW2CwpROZmqGFfkKYjyTUygLx4Z3DDc8bhZcuT3O1qaiTZuluz0tp0qTwMN4mPdiPq7iS2ZXTYkAfIdKrbDhUPtYq90AUAJJTRq7rNiF4jSYpLqDsHkPPK7auWVWzOrPKH5YBBghGIQ/s1600/WW5+cropped.jpg" height="640" width="616" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Talk to the buses, mum."</td></tr>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-49097505385901488532015-02-10T21:59:00.000+00:002015-02-11T11:04:55.396+00:00How Rats Can Spice Up Your Marriage<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYX1-Q1FZfav4OaGYv3N1SKjHlLkNjFryram7tENV8szgga_R1JreBsxE1RPv6GHLsKc3hTkAb5pmTdo6r0ZQ5PJyt8bGO4RgAyff4EroHUWb-Z1wPBCDVvPKCqSQWrY4tEEWVkh0k9Q/s1600/Rats+messing+about+in+lofts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYX1-Q1FZfav4OaGYv3N1SKjHlLkNjFryram7tENV8szgga_R1JreBsxE1RPv6GHLsKc3hTkAb5pmTdo6r0ZQ5PJyt8bGO4RgAyff4EroHUWb-Z1wPBCDVvPKCqSQWrY4tEEWVkh0k9Q/s1600/Rats+messing+about+in+lofts.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
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<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">You know how it is. You’ve been married a
number of years, and you’re in – well, a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">rut</i>
is probably a bit strong, but, say, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">a
state of pleasant and ever so slight boredom</i>. It’s not that you don’t love
your dear heart just as much as ever, but what with young children and jobs and
life, your marriage is feeling a bit…stagnant. Well, I have two words for you,
my friends: “Get rats!”</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">How
To Get Rats<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">There’s a number of easy ways: slovenly
living, moving to London or a farm, having a nice warm airing cupboard…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In our case, we have some neighbours who
dug up their garden when we least expected it and thus dislodged a family of
rats. Who could blame the refugees for scampering along the nearest branch
available, straight into the cosy loft of the new family next door?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">How
To Identify Rats<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I was lying in bed alone. My husband was
away for work. I was woken by a scuffle on the roof. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">On</i> the roof? <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Or in it? </i>I
lay frozen, hardly daring to breathe as I listened for more. Another scrabbling
sound. Oh God. Then a loud kerfuffle followed by…silence. As the moments ticked
by, I exhaled slowly and my mind began working its revisionist magic. Being
very tired, I let it trick me into believing that it had in fact been a bird
landing on the roof, losing its footing and then sliding down the tiles that
made all that noise. This seemed to satisfy my leaden eyes and I fell asleep. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">As if a bird, whose very life depends on its
ability to fly and land silently, would have made such a racket!</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It wasn’t till a week later and my husband
was back that I heard the noise again. This time there was no mistaking
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“That’s a rat,” said my genius spouse.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“It sounds like it’s putting furniture
together,” I replied in a strangled voice.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“They, you mean,” he replied.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">We looked at each other in horror, our eyes
gleaming with terror in the dark.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">How
the Rats Spiced Things Up<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">There are a number of ways marriage counsellors
suggest you can improve your relationship. Who would have thought that they could
all be put into practice with such unlikely consorts as the common rat?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">1.
Keep communicating<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The next morning, my What’sApp was going
nuts with messages from my husband updating me on where he’d got to with
booking a pest control company. He even left me a voicemail message – with
actual words, not a sigh and a click – for the first time since about 2009. I
rang him to confirm that I too had spoken to said company, and the rat-catcher would
be on his way at lunchtime. How appetising.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The rest of the day was alive with report
and counter-report, as my husband and I relayed Googled rat wisdom to each
other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By the time Frank the Rat
turned up, we’d all but decided to build a second wooden rampart round our
house, in the manner of a medieval fort, complete with mini boiling oil buckets
for our rodent friends. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Frank talked for 40 minutes about mice,
hornets, roaches, wasps, squirrels, and, of course, rats – your basic pest
spectrum. Then he popped upstairs. I waited with bated breath, half-expecting
to hear a giant struggle as if he were wrestling colossal rats to the ground and
throttling the life out of them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">No such drama.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">He came back down after a minute or two and
said it was definitely rats, he’d lay some poison and come back and check on
them next week.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Meanwhile, he put us on RatWatch, which
involved extensive inter-spouse communication.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“Did you hear that?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“What?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“THAT!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“You’re imagining it, shut up and go back
to – oh God, it’s the Rat Express!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">2. Touch
more, not just for sex<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">There’s nothing like creepy noises in the
loft to make you cuddle up. We were clinging together like babes in a wood.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">3. Talk
about something other than the children<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I don’t know about you, but even their
father doesn’t want to talk about the children as much as I do. How many date
nights have you spent scrabbling for conversation that doesn’t involve the
offspring? With rats, you’re never short of news! A fresh sprinkling of
droppings spotted! Daytime activity in the Big Rodent house! Rumours that it
might be killer squirrels from the mums at school! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">4.
Nurture your “in-jokes”<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">To evade the horror, we span our own little
sitcom about the “friends upstairs”. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">When the tapping started again, I quipped:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">“Sounds
like they’ve been to EEKEA again.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">On the night they sounded like they were
having a party:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">“They’ve
just been down the Rat’s Arms and got a RatDonalds.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“And now they’re going to watch ‘Mouse
of Cards’ on Ratflix…”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I tell you, it was a shaky, grossed-out
laugh a minute.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">5. Foster
a common purpose<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">There was one thought occupying our marital
mind, and one thought only: Those rats must out! I don’t think we’ve ever
worked with such equal fire towards the same goal. Yes, raising the children is a fairly key mutual goal, but there’s
something about rats that has a certain immediacy about it, raises a certain
fire in your belly. If the kids don’t learn to read this week, it’s not the end
of the world; if the rats don’t leave by Sunday, I will.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">6. Have
a bit of healthy distance<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I couldn’t bear the noise – or, worse, the
silence, waiting for them to come in from the watering hole and start
assembling flatpacks again. So I moved into the spare room.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It was awesome. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">All the perks of breastfeeding – bed to
yourself, pile of books and magazines on the side, light on as long as and
whenever you want – without the frequent wake-ups and nipple pain.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">My husband, meanwhile, toughed it out in
our room, grimly determined to monitor the movements of our squatters, in order
to report any death throes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It meant we were forced to catch up on the
day before retiring for bed. Which is a definite plus for anyone whose husband
tends to fall asleep on them when you’re trying to tell them something
important.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">7. Try
something different in the old conjugal relations area<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Think Mr Darcy creeping along the corridor,
all open blouse and dashing cheekbones. The hero and heroine have not seen each
other get changed for days. The creak of the floorboard. Someone stirring. The
heroine hardly able to contain her excitement…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Before getting up to put the toddler back
in bed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">8.
Create shared memories<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The rats have gone. Either that or they've laid carpet and muted the TV.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But we still have the memories.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">And we are that little bit further
entwined, our marriage is that little bit stronger – all thanks to our nimble pals
in the loft.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-38292401158438183462015-02-05T23:30:00.000+00:002015-02-10T22:01:19.095+00:00The Seven Stages Of Toddler Tantrums<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Maternal amnesia is a wonderful thing. I'd forgotten all about tantrums. Even convinced myself that my first two children had sailed peacefully through their twos. Until this morning, when my third baby had his first proper tantrum. And it all came flooding back. The full horror of the toddler tantrum:<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1. Trigger</span><br />
<br />
Could be anything. A raspberry pip that you didn't scoop off their jam quick enough. Lifting them down from a dangerously high wall. Putting the wrong Peppa Pig episode on. Asking for the bread knife back. The list is endless.<br />
<br />
<b>Action: </b>Anticipate all possible causes of annoyance and remove them from toddler's sight. In other words, place your child in a vacuum until he is four.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2. Eruption</span><br />
<br />
This stage is a natural phenomenon of volcanic proportions. It has a few sub-stages, which can occur either consecutively or all at once:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Screaming and shouting</li>
<li>Hitting - anything in his path, but especially you</li>
<li>Lying on floor, kicking</li>
<li>Head-banging</li>
<li>Back-arching or stiffening</li>
<li>Silent air-lock crying, while fixing you with his eyes, wide with accusation, fury and vengefulness</li>
</ul>
<br />
<b>Action: </b>Stand back and be amazed.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">3. Kamikaze</span><br />
<br />
Things then go up a notch. The rage can no longer be contained. Things become critical. Your child will try to:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>run into the road</li>
<li>lurch forward in his buggy</li>
<li>wrestle himself out of his carseat</li>
<li>stand up in his highchair </li>
<li>hit your boiling cup of tea out of your hand</li>
</ul>
<br />
<b>Action:</b> Secure your child's safety. Try not to panic.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">4. Catatonia</span><br />
<br />
Just as you think you're about to have a heart attack, they go limp. Instead of red mist eyes you have a catatonic stare. It does not flicker even when you come right up to his little tear-stained face. Instead of the stiff-board banshee, you have a suddenly pliant body. It is almost worse than the rod-back wonder.<br />
<br />
<b>Action:</b> Marvel at how long it takes him to blink.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">5. Calm</span><br />
<br />
Silence descends. He might even let you sing to him. Rock him. Stroke his back while he lies on the floor, spent with emotion. Hold him on your lap. He won't respond, but he won't explode either. You think it's all over. You're beginning to consider getting on with your day. But you are deluded, my friend. This is just an interlude. He is thinking about the grievance, feeling it anew, building up a fresh head of steam until...<br />
<br />
<b>Action: </b>Cuddle child. Scan area for further potential triggers / weapons.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">6. Resurgence</span><br />
<br />
The tantrum is resurrected. He catches sight of the errant raspberry pip again, and a wave of fresh outrage overwhelms him. HOW DARE YOU, MOTHER?! You repeat stages 2 to 5. If you're lucky it will blow over quicker on the rerun. Or maybe it's just because you know where you're going this time. You just have to ride it out until you can take the opportunity to break the cycle with:<br />
<br />
<b>Action:</b> As above, while rustling for snacks. And sieving jam.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">7. Haribo</span><br />
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Whatever it takes. The tantrum has run its course. Your toddler's energy levels need replacing big time. Who knows, maybe it was a blood sugar dip that caused it in the first place. But can you get a child to eat when they're really hungry? No, you cannot. But now you have your chance. If you can just distract them long enough to eat some jelly magic, you can put the whole thing behind you.<br />
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Until the next time...<br />
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<b>Action:</b> Repeat after me: "It's only a phase, it's only a phase." If after 6pm: open a bottle.<br />
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<a href="http://wrymummy.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/the-seven-stages-of-accepting-new.html" target="_blank">The Seven Stages of Accepting A New CBeebies Show</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-20492720312478665562015-02-04T12:40:00.001+00:002015-02-04T12:40:21.905+00:00Monday Melfie February<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Excited to join up for the first time with the lovely Elfa's linky! This is me and my wriggly toddler.<br />
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<a href="http://californianmuminlondon.com/" title="Californian Mum in London"><img alt="Californian Mum in London" src="http://i1383.photobucket.com/albums/ah301/elfa_rocks/Favicon4_zps2000284b.jpg" style="border: none;" /></a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-12187439033646622532015-02-04T11:18:00.000+00:002015-02-11T19:36:33.980+00:00Where Did My Baby Go? #WickedWednesday #4<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfd-2Gf6_qayK4VIuCeL7RtvlYzAP1KmTW2aQOGoaKA181ViKcOtsDZndl2xk6szXBH1SConw_hq6vvBF6HUpcJ7ZAkHIdb-qzofFn_GBAkr4KpPWss2KW-l-5DIG8xrTjTBcqAwzXMA/s1600/WW+Baby+Darth+Maul.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfd-2Gf6_qayK4VIuCeL7RtvlYzAP1KmTW2aQOGoaKA181ViKcOtsDZndl2xk6szXBH1SConw_hq6vvBF6HUpcJ7ZAkHIdb-qzofFn_GBAkr4KpPWss2KW-l-5DIG8xrTjTBcqAwzXMA/s1600/WW+Baby+Darth+Maul.JPG" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Where did my baby go?</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.brummymummyof2.co.uk/" title="brummymummyof2"><img alt="brummymummyof2" src="http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c283/brummymummyof2/78c51e9b-422f-4127-b228-7047cff0d1af_zps15d29baa.jpg" style="border: none;" /></a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-74341045965056196732015-02-03T22:30:00.000+00:002015-02-10T22:01:33.532+00:009 Weird Jobs You Can Do After Being A Mum<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUmVwYpWtZ2FbvY978sQ-ih-ff7uJT7wrBkdEsFRf-H2JKVM7-WBRkX1rAex-sDjK9YQ7kKVjODcpsADm03DtvYMA9iqoAHbZqPCHWuGSu3zbypYVwBWr2krLMcKBb1qRQqLeaCV2hIQ/s1600/Weird+Jobs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUmVwYpWtZ2FbvY978sQ-ih-ff7uJT7wrBkdEsFRf-H2JKVM7-WBRkX1rAex-sDjK9YQ7kKVjODcpsADm03DtvYMA9iqoAHbZqPCHWuGSu3zbypYVwBWr2krLMcKBb1qRQqLeaCV2hIQ/s1600/Weird+Jobs.jpg" height="432" width="640" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Picture credit: TomCruise.com. You're welcome, ladies.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Motherhood qualifies you for lots of things. A medal, for one. The Mummy CV is vast and includes such roles as taxi driver, referee, cook, maid, counsellor, tutor, nurse, PA, bank - the list goes on. But have you thought outside the box? Your experience as a mother will also have provided you with a very specific set of transferable skills for your future use.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>1. Baby change tour guide. </b>I bet you could tell a visitor the location of every baby change within a 50-mile radius of your home, plus which services have the best ones on your </span>commonly-travelled routes. The cafes where they don't mind if you don't buy anything, the ones where they really do, the ones where they have paper towels instead of those Airblades that terrify the children into hysteria (what were you thinking, Dyson?). Knowledge like that has a price, my friend! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>2. 7oz cocktail technician.</b> Tom Cruise, eat your heart out. Can you pour out 7oz of liquid, in the dark, every time, while shaking with sleep deprivation? How many times have you as a mother stumbled downstairs in the middle of the night to prepare a baby’s bottle? You could own that bar! As long as no one wants a bigger or smaller drink.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">3. Baseball backstop. </b><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">They probably don’t call it a backstop, but I was brought up on rounders so backstop it is. And you would make a great one! Think of when you caught your baby’s sick as he started to projectile in a cafe. Or a toddler’s poo in the swimming pool. Or a child’s chewed-up sausage as he started to choke / realise he doesn’t like it any more. You have the reflexes of a cat and nerves of steel!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>4. Spy.</b> The number of white lies you tell per day, you’re a shoe-in for this role. “Of course the ‘tooth fairy’ will come tonight.” “Your brother did <i>not</i> have more than you.” “You’ve had the last chocolate mini roll.” (Nom nom.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>5. Sprinter. </b>If your child was falling off a slide at the finish line, you would beat the world record by miles. Ditto if someone was opening some procecco.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>6. Body language expert.</b> You’re attending a police interview. You’re watching the accused closely. You can tell within a nanosecond: that guy needs to do a poo-poo.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>7. Sniffer dog. </b>Furthering your police work, you can apply your nasal dexterity to their man-hunts, honed in the years of identifying whose baby has got a dirty nappy, where that smell in the car is coming from (it’s always the apple core under the seat), and whether your oldest can really smell his brother’s yoghurt from the other side of the table. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>8. Lego innovator. </b>You know what I would do? Sell each set with a magnet that attracts all the pieces back to it once they are inevitably spread all over the house, leaving crying parents and children in their wake. Also put a second copy of every mini-figure in a For Parents’ Eyes Only sealed box, for when they take the first ones to school and lose them. Even though you told them not to. Oh, and do a collaboration with Swarovski for crystal-studded studs. What do you think, Lego? Sign here?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>9. Prosecco taster. </b>With an almost infinite capacity for the fizzy stuff, we are ideally suited to this most onerous of tasks. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">What would you add to this list?</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-90704542662662858052015-01-28T22:17:00.000+00:002015-01-29T14:01:42.478+00:00The Precedent - The Parent’s Greatest Fear<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZLuKXH8bqWVDDk9qiXyxbyg12hmQcEbgAQfLKeqdmwkxmLVeOY9L9EYzmm7whIAjeNX2GALlZ_o6_F8JJL9a7Qv5DWQaL-I7ZAkF_A-bKOSrYn3pDgvfSrAQ6RpyqAm4VGgbjIylFOA/s1600/Precedent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZLuKXH8bqWVDDk9qiXyxbyg12hmQcEbgAQfLKeqdmwkxmLVeOY9L9EYzmm7whIAjeNX2GALlZ_o6_F8JJL9a7Qv5DWQaL-I7ZAkF_A-bKOSrYn3pDgvfSrAQ6RpyqAm4VGgbjIylFOA/s1600/Precedent.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">“You let us yesterday,” my sons argued, as I yelled at them for making a barricade on the stairs using all the bedding in the house. “I know, but that was a one-off!” I answered. But it was too late. They’d already gone off to ransack the towel chest. I was left to wonder, Can I not let them do one single thing without them seeing it as a green light for all future occurrences? Must I always live in the shadow of the dreaded Precedent?</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It’s not just Stairgate. It’s loads of things. The fear of setting a precedent grips me at every turn. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Should I never let them:</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Sleep in our bed</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></span></li>
<li><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Take a teddy into school</span></li>
<li><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Go in the front seat</span></li>
<li><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Give up football “cos it’s too cold”</span></li>
<li><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Have biscuits for breakfast</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Skip the dunking part of swimming class</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></span></li>
<li><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Leave a playdate early because the host is being mean to him</span></li>
<li><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Have a bit of every cereal in the cupboard, even though I know they’re just going to tip it on the floor?</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Of course I should. And I do. It’s natural to indulge your children, it’s your right and your choice as their mother, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Anyway, you tell yourself, it takes <i>three days</i> to form a habit…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Right?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Not with kids it doesn’t. Their vice-like<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> little minds seize on the slightest weakness and play it right back at you to their advantage. They liked cuddling with you all night when they were a bit poorly - so why not tonight, just because?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">With children, once is enough to set a precedent.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Where there’s a way, there’s a child</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Basically, I’m at the sharp end of the human’s natural instinct to survive, thrive and beat their mother into submission. While the child is out for all he can get, the parent must try and drive their expectations and behaviour into acceptable channels. And think not just of the immediate consequences, but of the far-off ones:</span></div>
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<li style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If I let them skip their Year 1 homework one weekend, will they fail their A-Levels?</span></li>
<li><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If I let them give up an activity half way through a term, will they never hold down a job?</span></li>
<li><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If I let them sleep a couple of nights in my bed, will their future bride have to kick me out on their wedding night?</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It’s exhausting. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Obviously, there is a balance between setting boundaries and responding to the child in hand. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But just as you strike it, thinking you’ve scored a victory and held back from setting a precedent of, say, letting them eat popcorn in the bath, they play their trump card:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">“Daddy lets us do it.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It makes you want to drink at teatime.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Now that’s a precedent I don’t mind setting. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>If you liked this, you might like:</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://wrymummy.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/knee-high-ninjas-how-babies-get-you.html" target="_blank"><br /></a></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://wrymummy.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/knee-high-ninjas-how-babies-get-you.html" target="_blank">Knee-High Ninjas - How Babies Get You Where It Hurts</a></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-54646480477470365702015-01-22T09:33:00.001+00:002015-01-22T09:33:31.920+00:00Life’s Too Short to Ice A Mushroom<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-laltsiBfa3rJkpIGzwYDu-hsUAzIXKqthAoOsHrrgj7Xkwm5MLiIm8ofvM3qSp05LcXNX4eAmDPlRBP9kCrWeEcvdFVz3xPoFJu9I9ixaMC3zYnqDmd947qWZbkouegYVpTRHlGI1w/s1600/Iced+Mushrooms.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-laltsiBfa3rJkpIGzwYDu-hsUAzIXKqthAoOsHrrgj7Xkwm5MLiIm8ofvM3qSp05LcXNX4eAmDPlRBP9kCrWeEcvdFVz3xPoFJu9I9ixaMC3zYnqDmd947qWZbkouegYVpTRHlGI1w/s1600/Iced+Mushrooms.JPG" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica;">Kids lick the icing off cakes. Fact. Some may eat the cake too, but there are many, like mine, who would go through a whole tray of cakes if they could, just skimming off the icing with their little filter-feeder mouths. So I got to thinking, as we were baking the other day, what if I just iced - something else? Like a stone.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica;"> </span><br />
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Would they really lick the icing off anything - even a rock? But then one of them would probably crack a big tooth and turn my little experiment into a disfiguring reminder of my guilt forever more. I don’t know how it came to me, but I thought - a mushroom! It’s the right kind of shape, I had some in the fridge - and the kids loathe them!</div>
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Some claim that life’s too short to ice a mushroom, (I paraphrase) - but actually, for parents, I find there are lots of little pockets of time where you can’t really get anything particularly useful done, so you might as well do something silly and ultimately pointless. </div>
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Like when they’re playing nicely, which you know won’t last a nanosecond if you start putting away laundry, for example, so you start straightening up your ancient jam and pickles area in the fridge. Obviously there is not enough time to make the momentous decision to finally part with a kindly gifted homemade preserve, scrape the (probably very mouldy by now) contents into the bin and wash out the encrusted jar for recycling. Or when there is two minutes till the pasta is ready and you have squandered the other eight doing who knows what, but you can’t really capitalise on those two minutes because it’s too short a window. So you hover paralysed by the stove, vaguely thinking, “Will I ever move out of this sink-stove vortex?”</div>
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But that ten-minute lull between the children finishing a meal and asking for “something to eeee-at” is just long enough to do something daft. And there was the leftover icing just sitting there. So I did indeed ice a mushroom. Three, in fact.</div>
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How did I make them stand up so they wouldn’t drip everywhere, I hear you cry. I stuck 'em in a basil pot, of course. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWnu6gT_fmsrg5Bxpsz_M4QaJw6GL77Njsq3LJBbpEz8AIbtivjhsiIRLvkXWlC9iyHlSEuldLCdpiCuM6pRO49cRUpFiOgBIll-cb29Ip-e-NjX2VOD3GG_gfv8_zQew8s9aR1vn27w/s1600/Iced+Mushrooms,+pre+icing.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWnu6gT_fmsrg5Bxpsz_M4QaJw6GL77Njsq3LJBbpEz8AIbtivjhsiIRLvkXWlC9iyHlSEuldLCdpiCuM6pRO49cRUpFiOgBIll-cb29Ip-e-NjX2VOD3GG_gfv8_zQew8s9aR1vn27w/s1600/Iced+Mushrooms,+pre+icing.JPG" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
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I scattered on some hundreds and thousands for good measure, enjoying myself surprisingly much - amazed and amused at my own idiocy. </div>
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I popped them in the fridge to set and closed the door, rubbing my hands together a bit like Mrs Twit in Roald Dahl’s classic tale of domestic prankery. “The look on their faces when I tell them they licked a mushroom!” I thought to myself, tittering inwardly.</div>
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But as if to punish my lunacy, those lurky mushrooms wiped the smile clean off my chops. When I got them out again, they had - there can be no other description for it - spitefully <i>drunk</i> all the icing. So instead of a nice set glaze to trick the children into mouthing a mushroom, there were just some sorry hundreds and thousands clinging on to a revolting sticky mound. Porous little pesks. Needless to say, the children clasped their hands to their mouths making vomiting noises as soon as they clapped eyes on them.</div>
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The moral of the story?</div>
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<span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;">Be thankful to your children, for they give you the interludes</span></div>
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you need to be creative.</div>
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<i>or</i></div>
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<span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;">Don’t ever think you can fool your kids.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk16zQ3arl1kuBhyphenhyphendvNGosIOXPJ0jGR9IJ0BFpCaq4Kg0MtnsbJREIMf5ESAYTL5bmnycpIK6jLoXFDzEh8enZeyhvIsI2ZQ_3hcSEA6KCAefOSOeIeJr07-kf6Hx8AhHib5BfuRh9WA/s1600/WW3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk16zQ3arl1kuBhyphenhyphendvNGosIOXPJ0jGR9IJ0BFpCaq4Kg0MtnsbJREIMf5ESAYTL5bmnycpIK6jLoXFDzEh8enZeyhvIsI2ZQ_3hcSEA6KCAefOSOeIeJr07-kf6Hx8AhHib5BfuRh9WA/s1600/WW3.JPG" height="640" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 11px;">Until I think of some other way to test my “will eat icing off anything theory”, I will continue to make cakes. </span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 11px;">Luckily, they are always happy to help…</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small;">Speaking of people who just lick the icing off cakes, <br />a very happy birthday to my darling sister!</span></span></td></tr>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-88586256194878082062015-01-21T08:39:00.001+00:002015-01-21T08:39:35.072+00:00Baking With Babies - A Recipe for Disaster: WickedWednesdays #3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGdBlFU7cP7EFtcxpX9oDKesFaT6yzusyL3wfPt_nGkHISfW4dh8DKx2MbDZvH8wB3OA3eZ9CpOV6ruh2Q8B7YG8Vkbf8KxT1kg7_RRNok4nU4puHiBpCl2qBoPlP4rp_Rt696nwn-Iw/s1600/WW3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGdBlFU7cP7EFtcxpX9oDKesFaT6yzusyL3wfPt_nGkHISfW4dh8DKx2MbDZvH8wB3OA3eZ9CpOV6ruh2Q8B7YG8Vkbf8KxT1kg7_RRNok4nU4puHiBpCl2qBoPlP4rp_Rt696nwn-Iw/s1600/WW3.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
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My toddler's signature style: the squeezed cupcake. Usually the children get bored after I've let them hold the whisk but this time, oh no! They had to be involved at every step. Still, they were for immediate consumption, not a bake sale, so where's the harm? (Still treading in hundreds and thousands after a double clean-up...)<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-65310935912276392202015-01-19T23:28:00.001+00:002015-01-21T13:26:22.446+00:00The Sofa Slug<div class="getty embed image" style="background-color: white; color: #a7a7a7; display: inline-block; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 11px; max-width: 478px; width: 100%;">
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It's 4.45am. Outside it is pitch black. The heating hasn't come on yet. On the sofa lies a barely discernible shape. A small creature seems to be alternately lolling and bouncing on the lumpen object, which occasionally emits a kind of grunt, crossed with a groan. It is a beast endemic in houses with young children: the Sofa Slug.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In the flickery light cast over the scene by the TV, we can get a closer look at this force of nature. it seems to be draped in something - is it a blanket? or a medley of children's fleeces that happened to be close to hand? No distinguishing features are visible, except its antennae, which are propped up at all times in case its young, the oozeling, decides to crawl or toddle back upstairs and wake the rest of the family. The only other protrusion from the protective layer is a solitary hand, which blunders out every ten minutes to press play again on the remote. It is too early even for 'Me Too!'</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If the oozeling is really poorly and not just being annoying, he will be tucked up in the folds of the 'sofanimal', only his little head sticking out as he feverishly follows the progress of Thomas the Tank Engine. As soon as the Calpol kicks in, he will commence kicking the beast that enfolds him. If he was just waking up for fun, he'll already have been doing this. One by one, the other oozelings tiptoe in, guided through the gloaming by the beacon of the screen. They see with delight that there is an extra comfy cushion / punchbag lying ready for them on the sofa and set to work immediately. The lump gives no sign of feeling any of this, it just burrows further under its cover. An intermittent hiss, "Just don't wake Daddy!" can be heard by those on the right frequency.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As the sun rises and it becomes, indisputably, day, a miraculous change comes over the mound. A stirring, a shaking, a stretching, a tipping-off of oozelings and coverings. It snaps into action, serving breakfast, dressing children, checking book bags, wiping bottoms, kicking a tea towel around the spilt milk, showering and dressing, changing a last-minute nappy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It becomes, in short, a mother.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Related posts: <a href="http://wrymummy.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/the-mummy-shark.html" target="_blank">The Mummy Shark</a> Dead eyes, grey skin - we have more similarities than you'd think to the deadly beast.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://wrymummy.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/the-meerkat-mom.html" target="_blank">The Meerkat Mother</a> - like a Tiger Mother. Only more cuddly.</span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-33725745419538585672015-01-18T22:14:00.000+00:002015-01-18T22:14:36.729+00:00Love in the Snow<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRMllRdM8efAoP380P5HmcjAvrv7_E92OuvohpR0SGhMLJtiR2AXcg9eIqZxCplOQgouP9pnmeqGv25uwnyg9rw9C4_X1ZTdFgiAqxP6AcUPBaLAjXSTE6oG_XusfjmCiBWOp8wx33rg/s1600/IMG_4008.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRMllRdM8efAoP380P5HmcjAvrv7_E92OuvohpR0SGhMLJtiR2AXcg9eIqZxCplOQgouP9pnmeqGv25uwnyg9rw9C4_X1ZTdFgiAqxP6AcUPBaLAjXSTE6oG_XusfjmCiBWOp8wx33rg/s1600/IMG_4008.JPG" height="640" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="border: 0px; color: #442a2a; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.799999237060547px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: start; vertical-align: baseline;">There's a whole lotta love going on at #GetYourCraftOn #GYCO, </span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #442a2a; font-family: Segoe UI, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.799999237060547px;">a monthly craft challenge set by either Anthea at ZingZing Tree, Maggie at Red Ted Art, Ali at Kids Chaos or Liz at Me And My Shadow. My piece is not strictly craft-y but it's certainly LOVE-y, and as I was kindly invited to join in by Anthea, I jumped at the chance! </span></span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #442a2a; font-family: Segoe UI, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.799999237060547px;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #442a2a; font-family: Segoe UI, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.799999237060547px;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/wrymummy" target="_blank">Follow me on Facebook!</a> If you so wish. </span></span></span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-76508708016907186972015-01-14T13:49:00.001+00:002015-01-14T13:49:27.116+00:00The Ingenuity of Children: #WickedWednesday 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFFf8kjAZdF0GuFnVFAn96Xm9pM66m-VEsFmtaFcXw5755rUu4hnFWeegJeFXMFbEgTnNxrpUsy5tM_bqHX-yQO00P2Rhxkmj14d2HxHXvZ8tWDXTR1zCIzmFL2EHD5mIHR9rxSq0FHw/s1600/WW2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFFf8kjAZdF0GuFnVFAn96Xm9pM66m-VEsFmtaFcXw5755rUu4hnFWeegJeFXMFbEgTnNxrpUsy5tM_bqHX-yQO00P2Rhxkmj14d2HxHXvZ8tWDXTR1zCIzmFL2EHD5mIHR9rxSq0FHw/s1600/WW2.JPG" height="400" width="400" /></a></div>
<div align="center">
</div>
<br />
Never fear, Tortilla Boy's here! Both a snack, and a disguise! For a moment I thought I'd found the perfect car snack - look no crumbs! Until they started tearing them apart and rolling bits into tiny balls...<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.brummymummyof2.co.uk/" title="brummymummyof2"><img alt="brummymummyof2" src="http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c283/brummymummyof2/78c51e9b-422f-4127-b228-7047cff0d1af_zps15d29baa.jpg" style="border: none;" /></a><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-35062940678191356092015-01-13T09:49:00.000+00:002015-01-16T12:30:23.941+00:00We're Going On A Job Hunt<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<div class="getty embed image" style="background-color: white; color: #a7a7a7; display: inline-block; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 11px; max-width: 477px; width: 100%;">
<div style="height: 0; overflow: hidden; padding: 75.052411% 0 0 0; position: relative; width: 100%;">
<iframe frameborder="0" height="358" scrolling="no" src="//embed.gettyimages.com/embed/83490723?et=0X1WkOeRRg9ozNR0YiJgSA&socialOnLoad=on&sig=SJpUjTDpm4qHFPR04EWMPvccR0SoYTNKMmLF6aMFBF4=" style="display: inline-block; height: 100%; left: 0; position: absolute; top: 0; width: 100%;" width="477"></iframe></div>
<div style="margin: 0;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0 0 0 10px; padding: 0; text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/83490723" style="border: none; color: #a7a7a7; display: inline-block; font-weight: normal !important; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">View image</a> | <a href="http://www.gettyimages.com/" style="border: none; color: #a7a7a7; display: inline-block; font-weight: normal !important; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">gettyimages.com</a></span></span></div>
</div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We're going on a
job hunt,</span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; mso-line-height-alt: 9.0pt;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">We're gonna catch a big one,</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 12pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">What a beautiful day,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="font-size: 12pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We're not scared.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="font-size: 12pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Oh oh!</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
<!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span>
<br />
<div style="background: white; mso-line-height-alt: 9.0pt;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Guilt!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 20.9090900421143px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div style="background: white; mso-line-height-alt: 9.0pt;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">“Bad mummy”
guilt.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">We can't go over it,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We can't go under it,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We've gotta go through it!</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
<o:p></o:p></span></span>
<br />
<div style="background: white; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">“We love you,
kids, this is for you”.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; mso-line-height-alt: 9.0pt;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">We're going on a
job hunt,</span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">We're gonna catch a big one,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">What a beautiful day,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We're not scared.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Oh oh!</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
<o:p></o:p></span></span>
<br />
<div style="background: white; mso-line-height-alt: 9.0pt;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Doubt!</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="background: white; mso-line-height-alt: 9.0pt;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Enormous self doubt.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We can't go over it,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We can't go under it,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We've gotta go through it!</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">“We can do this, we </span><i style="font-size: 12pt;">used</i><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> to do this”.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
<o:p></o:p></span></span>
<br />
<div style="background: white; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; mso-line-height-alt: 9.0pt;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">We're going on a
job hunt,</span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">We're gonna catch a big one,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">What a beautiful day,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We're not scared.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Oh oh!</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
<o:p></o:p></span></span>
<br />
<div style="background: white; mso-line-height-alt: 9.0pt;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">No smart clothes!</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="background: white; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; mso-line-height-alt: 9.0pt;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Just PJs and
hoodies.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">We can't go over it,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We can't go under it,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We've gotta go through it!</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">ASOS, Primark.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
<o:p></o:p></span></span>
<br />
<div style="background: white; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; mso-line-height-alt: 9.0pt;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">We're going on a
job hunt,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We're gonna catch a big one,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="font-size: 12pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">What a beautiful day,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="font-size: 12pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We're not scared.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="font-size: 12pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Oh oh!</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
<!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 16pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span>
<br />
<div style="background: white; mso-line-height-alt: 9.0pt;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Childcare costs!</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 20.9090900421143px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span>
<br />
<div style="background: white; mso-line-height-alt: 9.0pt;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Big, off-putting
childcare costs.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">We can't go over it,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We can't go under it,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We've gotta go through it!</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Move near parents, think long term.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
<o:p></o:p></span></span>
<br />
<div style="background: white; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; mso-line-height-alt: 9.0pt;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">We're going on a
job hunt,</span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">We're gonna catch a big one,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">What a beautiful day,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We're not scared.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Oh oh!</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
<o:p></o:p></span></span>
<br />
<div style="background: white; mso-line-height-alt: 9.0pt;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Overqualified!</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span>
<br />
<div style="background: white; mso-line-height-alt: 9.0pt;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Too out of touch, expensive.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We can't go over it,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We can't go under it,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">We've gotta go through it!</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Persevere, fight back.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
<o:p></o:p></span></span>
<br />
<div style="background: white; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; mso-line-height-alt: 9.0pt;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">OH NO IT'S A REJECTION!!!</span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Quick!</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Through the guilt, “Love you, kids, this is for you”,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Through the doubt, “We can do this, we </span><i style="font-size: 12pt;">used</i><span style="font-size: 12pt;">
to do this”,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
<o:p></o:p></span></span>
<br />
<div style="background: white; mso-line-height-alt: 9.0pt;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Through the “no
smart clothes”, ASOS, Primark,</span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Through the childcare costs, move near parents, think long term,</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Through the overqualication, persevere, fight back,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Run to the house, run up the stairs,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Oh oh, forgot to shut the door!</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Run back downstairs, shut the door,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Run back up, to the bedroom,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Jump into bed, cuddle your family,</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span>
<div style="background: white; mso-line-height-alt: 9.0pt;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">YOU’RE THE BEST MUM IN THE WORLD!</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i>Adapted from and in homage to the wonderful children's poem by Michael Rosen, illustrated by Helen Oxenbury, </i>We're Going On A Bear Hunt<i>.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i></i></span><br />
<div align="center">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i><a href="http://mama-andmore.com/p/all-about-you.html" title="Mama and More"><img alt="Mama and More" src="http://mama-andmore.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/AllAboutYoubuttonnewcrop.jpg" style="border: none;" /></a></i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i>
</i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div align="center">
<a href="http://www.andthenthefunbegan.co.uk/" title="And then the fun began..."><img alt="And then the fun began..." src="http://i1372.photobucket.com/albums/ag350/SamanthaP8/TheTruthaboutbadge_zps84f6dddd.jpg" style="border: none;" /></a></div>
</div>
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<a href="http://www.vevivos.com/2015/01/16/post-comment-love-newbie-showcase-16th-18th-january-2015/" target="_blank">Linked up with PoCoLo.</a></center>
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<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-53042158538850815262015-01-08T23:02:00.001+00:002015-01-19T12:01:07.324+00:00Can Your Marriage Survive Dry January?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqU8r9AgijjshO-DEFkVNXl_2T_aXfb0Oz1NTMC_D0pK0pBSyxSlNz6FQoUPQUZiRY2I_veKFkBpa1rURVaBU4jLmIG9eXIPYburLadNkfNIvm6f_eVCwyRE9-s733-35uhqfCR_D5QA/s1600/Fun+Bobby+Friends+Wikia+Com.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqU8r9AgijjshO-DEFkVNXl_2T_aXfb0Oz1NTMC_D0pK0pBSyxSlNz6FQoUPQUZiRY2I_veKFkBpa1rURVaBU4jLmIG9eXIPYburLadNkfNIvm6f_eVCwyRE9-s733-35uhqfCR_D5QA/s1600/Fun+Bobby+Friends+Wikia+Com.png" height="513" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What if my husband turns into Fun Bobby?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It was one of those awkward moments. My
husband announced, “I’m going to do dry January,” and looked at me expectantly.
Just as, many moons ago, heh said “I love you,” – the statement that in films
usually marks a pivotal moment and the hero/ine dashing off to find their real
love. I had no hesitation in responding appropriately to those three little
words (“I love you too. How’s that pint coming?”). I was equally spontaneous in
my reaction to his declaration of abstinence: I guffawed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Once we’d established that he truly meant
it (I don’t know about yours but my husband vows to give up drinking almost
every time he’s hungover), that expectation was still hanging in the air – that
I should do it too. But I don’t want to! I’ve done several years of dry-dom
with pregnancy and breast-feeding so I feel like I’m all stocked up with
virtue, - in this arena anyway.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My husband, however, has never done a
proper dry period of more than a few days. While he barely drinks at home, his
job is very social, and like many people, a couple of drinks after work now and
then helps dissipate the stresses of his day. And I like to have a glass to get
over doing kids’ bedtime. Our relationship doesn’t depend upon booze – but it
certainly helps jolly us up on a knackered Friday night. </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Our courtship was mainly spent in the pub, and even since kids, we always mark occasions (and many non-occasions) with a beverage. I'm hoping he'll become a DIY legend, as early B&Q visits have indicated, but I am concerned he will become Fun Bobby. </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">How will we cope as a
struggling sober-ton and a devious drinker?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In the interests of good wifeship, I am
doing my best to support him.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Lucida Sans Typewriter";"><span style="font-size: large;">Recommended ways to help your
partner stick to dry January</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Do
it too. </span></b><span lang="EN-US">This is the obvious – and nicest - thing to
do. But, as mentioned, I’m just not up for it. I’ve given alcohol up for a
month here and there at other times, when not pregnant or breastfeeding – I
feel I have nothing to prove and everything to gain from mellowing the
dreariest month with the gift of the vine.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Buy
“treat” soft drinks: </span></b><span lang="EN-US">For many of us, it is the
“treat” of having a special drink at the end of the day that drives us into the
arms of Madam Sauv Blanc. But often a soft drink would do the job if you just
get over the mental leap – as anyone who’s been pregnant knows. My husband is a
cheap date and craves only fizzy water.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Reduce
drinking opportunities:</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> Don’t cram the diary with
social stuff. And whatever you do, don’t go getting a new job / pay rise /
winning lottery ticket when he’s not allowed to celebrate in accustomed style.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Research
the benefits</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> and remind him of them when he has
moments of weakness: sobriety is good for your health and for your wallet. Then
expunge them from your mind: these are the kinds of facts you only like to
think about when smugly on the wagon.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Coach
him about dry social survival.</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> Again, my pregnancy
training comes to the fore here. I’ve gone through the tactics of surviving a
night out without booze a few times with him now: the key is starting as you mean to go
on, on soft, and letting it be known that you have some unspecified fitness
event which you may or may not be training for.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Nag
him while he’s out.</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> Oh, heaven! My husband actually
asked, nay begged, me to ring him at regular intervals when he’s out in the
evening to remind him of his goal. Licence to nag! It’s like Christmas came
late! </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Plan
a fab February 1<sup>st</sup>.</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> The guy deserves a
reward, even if it is a Sunday night!</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Lucida Sans Typewriter";"><span style="font-size: large;">Slightly naughty ways to support
your husband during dry January</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Drink
booze in front of him, but in disguise.</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> I’ve tried
this with a water glass and a mug and he didn’t bust me either time. But, I
have to say, I felt a bit cheap. Wine doesn’t really taste as nice out of a
weird vessel, and being that devious made me feel a bit like…well, like an
alkie. So I’m not doing that any more.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisvKKioy1fLq4-3aUJNyorvbKDJOORCbV4qqRU97srzqGRTx4UfIG8I7KTx0e-Y2xHkyDqpiPdNuJ3v4i5HOnzPeUJbYoaH44YhZG754lHIeOUQZ3Xtn8APqA4YbmQfOjxgCRQUsOE_A/s1600/Dry+January+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisvKKioy1fLq4-3aUJNyorvbKDJOORCbV4qqRU97srzqGRTx4UfIG8I7KTx0e-Y2xHkyDqpiPdNuJ3v4i5HOnzPeUJbYoaH44YhZG754lHIeOUQZ3Xtn8APqA4YbmQfOjxgCRQUsOE_A/s1600/Dry+January+1.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Subtle, huh?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8zrUhSOrrND3pfqTEVb0erIkGe7gXs4RpWMJWuHduYBKTvczgeex3u0PSWZ5pUPfSx5O5H4f17NgNinTuEx-uwxK4Tufl-FkEc1Y2Et48tDjmsujjcjimdutSheFXqNJgg4J0fawBPA/s1600/Dry+January+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8zrUhSOrrND3pfqTEVb0erIkGe7gXs4RpWMJWuHduYBKTvczgeex3u0PSWZ5pUPfSx5O5H4f17NgNinTuEx-uwxK4Tufl-FkEc1Y2Et48tDjmsujjcjimdutSheFXqNJgg4J0fawBPA/s1600/Dry+January+2.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hidden in plain sight</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US">While
the cat’s away…</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> While he was out the other night, I
invited round a friend whose husband is also off the grog. Just as they had
felt the need to drink for two when we were pregnant, we seemed to be compelled
to make up the deficit by putting away far more than we normally would. A mistake we felt heavily on the school run, next day.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Go
out loads and make him drive everywhere.</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> Payback
for all those weddings where I’ve carted everyone home despite being beside
myself with exhaustion and bump-ache. Unfortunately, everyone keeps a low
profile in January so the opportunity to claim full recompense is limited.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I’m pretty sure after getting through the
big bangs of having one, two and then three children in just under five years,
our marriage will survive dry January. The question is, will my liver?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If you liked this, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/wrymummy" target="_blank">Like me on Facebook</a> to
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuMThQrdcUQbYdzDqwyz_Aykg4zSnBQfueJvyXG2nEVjSrQJrog75T-7P7ZTh4Qe7ydEVZRCzK4hj_6bUfP05frzdpoMZNwT0P9GSPMePWVTqWOhV6yDNwbfqKY4sC0aEDk2zqh2cfZA/s1600/Blog-+Drink+Out+of+Synch+photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuMThQrdcUQbYdzDqwyz_Aykg4zSnBQfueJvyXG2nEVjSrQJrog75T-7P7ZTh4Qe7ydEVZRCzK4hj_6bUfP05frzdpoMZNwT0P9GSPMePWVTqWOhV6yDNwbfqKY4sC0aEDk2zqh2cfZA/s1600/Blog-+Drink+Out+of+Synch+photo.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">On the same theme: </span><a href="http://wrymummy.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/do-you-drink-out-of-synch.html" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;" target="_blank">Do You Drink Out Of Synch?</a><br />
<br />
Picture credit: friendswikia.com</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-14550057608430678062015-01-07T22:07:00.000+00:002015-01-07T22:07:35.853+00:00The Obtuseness Of Toddlers #WickedWednesday 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfdV_qlj6uQ7bigdCLIGMKLdCwp9ghnXRDVULoXa0kbny9uz0_quXjCA4jjsqO-YFIXiiQmqY6RlcRQfLXRvR8lKadSUuJCEZCiLgJ80ZaDqLkOvcONpcznuQNQtlhvGYWWqMdYsZVdg/s1600/Wicked+Weds+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfdV_qlj6uQ7bigdCLIGMKLdCwp9ghnXRDVULoXa0kbny9uz0_quXjCA4jjsqO-YFIXiiQmqY6RlcRQfLXRvR8lKadSUuJCEZCiLgJ80ZaDqLkOvcONpcznuQNQtlhvGYWWqMdYsZVdg/s1600/Wicked+Weds+1.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
I've been wondering whether my baby is turning into toddler, or if those flashes of temper are just in my imagination... When he asked for a sticker and pointed to nearly every one of these identical ones on the sheet, letting me half peel them off before angrily rejecting them, before finally allowing me to press one onto his T-shirt so he could immediately rip it off again, I knew.<br />
<br />
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</div>
<br />
<a href="http://www.brummymummyof2.co.uk/" title="brummymummyof2"><img alt="brummymummyof2" src="http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c283/brummymummyof2/78c51e9b-422f-4127-b228-7047cff0d1af_zps15d29baa.jpg" style="border: none;" /></a><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-4087276848797315692015-01-07T09:42:00.002+00:002015-01-09T11:39:39.504+00:00Smartphones: Mother's Ruin - Or Saviour?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWaOUebF_QIja8V11sgoZ4bi6fPYwSNtg1cGOqH-AjhqM35Trgrt0D5X5vgeWkTRW9YkvS0SROhM-zJrw_Nq7MJCDBQRqZexo-H5iDNm5SVPNy6MjqqbZhQV16jkz5X-f4SoskmKSElQ/s1600/Curse+of+the+Itchy+Thumb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWaOUebF_QIja8V11sgoZ4bi6fPYwSNtg1cGOqH-AjhqM35Trgrt0D5X5vgeWkTRW9YkvS0SROhM-zJrw_Nq7MJCDBQRqZexo-H5iDNm5SVPNy6MjqqbZhQV16jkz5X-f4SoskmKSElQ/s1600/Curse+of+the+Itchy+Thumb.jpg" height="400" width="290" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Birth announcements
lost in a scroll-load of Facebook updates. Babies whose first words are in
click language, they’re papped so often. Pushchair pile-ups as mummies check
email on the move. Do smartphones help or hinder motherhood?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-size: large;">I Don’t Care What The Weatherman Says</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">The other day, I found
myself checking my weather app to confirm that it was actually raining - despite
the fact I could clearly see raindrops falling on the window. “But it’s not
going to rain till 3 o’clock!” I cried, before swiftly cancelling my park plans
via Facebook Messenger. Then the sun came out. But everyone had already made
other plans, in the beat of an email. Sound familiar? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">In the olden days,
before smartphones, I used to go out with the kids. We used to go to the park,
get caught in a sudden downpour, and all cram under the slide in the ‘ice cream
parlour’. It was fun! We’d splash through puddles in our Crocs and make an
emergency stop in a café halfway home, the windows steaming as we drank our
babycinos, smiling at the other mums caught out by the shower. The camaraderie
was practically like the Blitz. Now, when I am stripping off my mud-soaked
children in the boot of the car because – horrors! – I took the 40% chance of
rain at 2.32pm as a 60% chance it wouldn’t, I feel like the be-anoraked mums
around me are thinking, ‘What’s wrong with her, doesn’t she have an IPhone?’</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, yes I do. And
I’m a slave to it as much as the next mum. Of course it’s useful when you’re
planning a day out, or deciding whether to send the kids to school in a coat or
sunhat. But when I caught myself questioning the evidence of my own eyes and
ears, I realised that the weather app can only get you so far. And it can still
be wrong, just like in <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-19923565" target="_blank">Michael Fish’s</a> day. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Birth Announcement: Scroll and You Miss It</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">I love it when I see a
new baby on Facebook. Then I scroll past it. What is this madness? I revere the
arrival of new life, yet the Curse of the Itchy Thumb makes me flick past the
announcement with only slightly less speed than a picture of someone’s lunch,
seemingly desperate as I am to see some more cute cats being hypnotised by a roll
of Sellotape. Once I’ve ‘Liked’ a birth, subconsciously I think: ‘job done’.
Whereas before I would send a gushy text, a card and even a present, now I have
to remind myself that a Facebook acknowledgement of a tiny human’s safe passage
into this world is not sufficient! I was recently informed that my cousin had
given birth to a bonny baby girl – via a lovely email from my over-the-moon
uncle. Yet in some ridiculous part of my mind, I didn’t really believe it to be
true until she posted a picture of the gorgeous poppet a week later. Since when
did everything have to be ‘confirmed by Facebook’?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Yet when I had my own (third
baby) fairly recently, I was drafting the Facebook announcement before I even
went into labour. I like the lovely comments and being able to share the moment
in real time – with a newborn, who knows when you’re going to be able to see
everyone in person, or even phone them? It could be a year or more, by which
time the excitement of breaking the news has dissipated somewhat: “Oh, yeah – I
had a baby. That’s her walking around over there.”. Yes, it meant that a few
ex-colleagues heard the news before my non-Facebook-using friends, but at least
I got to share my happiness with a large number of my nearest and dearest. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-size: large;">When A Baby’s First Word Is ‘Cheeeese’</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">I’ve got thousands of
photos of my children – and thanks to the ease of my IPhone, my third baby’s
(virtual) album is vast. The truism that there are far fewer photos of
subsequent children doesn’t hold in the Instagram age. I don’t care that I have
ten shots of the same picture; I treasure every one. With my memory shot to
bits by age and child-rearing, they will be priceless reminders of these
precious years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">But when your baby says
‘Cheeeese’ whenever he sees your phone? It’s harder and harder to catch them in
a natural moment? You start to wonder if you’re missing more than you’re recording.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-size: large;">Smartphone Arrangements – To Be or Not To Be?</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">The ‘right to cancel
without notice or blame’ came in with texting, but smartphones have taken this
to a whole new level. You can now let someone down any which way but by phone
call. You may have had ‘something in the diary’ (ICalendar) for ages, confirmed
via email a couple of days before and heard positive noises over Facebook
messenger within 24 hours of the meet-up, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">but
is it really and truly, actually going to happen? </i>Before ‘cancellation
culture’ became the norm, I used to quite like it when a fellow mum would
arrive sweaty after legging it from the health visitor, with a screaming baby in
a smelly nappy, which she promptly dumped on me while she staggered gasping to
the counter begging for a latte. That 15 minutes of face time (as opposed to Facetime)
before one of us had to dash off to baby Tai Chi was a little oasis in our days
– of human contact, sympathy and someone to hold your baby while you went to
the loo in peace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">On the other hand, who
has time to make calls these days? With kids and / or colleagues inevitably
clamouring in the background, it’s hard to make an arrangement over the phone.
And, if you’re a bit phone-phobic like me, texts and Facebook messenger allow
you to achieve some semblance of a social whirl without actually talking to
anyone till you’re face to face. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-size: large;">You Can Never Be Lonely With A Smartphone?</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Many parents feel that
it can be isolating to be alone with your baby. With a smartphone, at least you
can phone a friend, or your mum. My mother remembers feeling terribly lonely in
the park sometimes and thinks we’re lucky to have phones these days. And I have
to agree. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">But when your baby
thinks her mother is an IPhone? Obviously, there’s a balance here. It’s
tempting to get lost in your phone but you might then miss the little person
turning into a great companion right under your nose. Yes, I am as guilty as
anyone of calling the dentist and doing a random Facebook quiz while charged
with the care of my brood, but like many mums I know, I’m making a conscious
effort to keep phone use in front of the children to emergencies only. Just
need to send this tweet…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do you think smartphones
enhance or inhibit your experience of motherhood? Answers on a postcard please.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/wrymummy" target="_blank">Like me on Facebook</a>!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This article is also featured on <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/jess-paterson/mums-smartphones_b_6421998.html" target="_blank">The Huffington Post</a>.</span></i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Linking up with </i><a href="http://www.vevivos.com/2015/01/09/post-comment-love-and-newbie-showcase-9th-to-11th-january-2015/" target="_blank">#</a><i><a href="http://www.vevivos.com/2015/01/09/post-comment-love-and-newbie-showcase-9th-to-11th-january-2015/" target="_blank">PoCoLo</a> </i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24.2999992370605px;">- a link up for ANY blog post you have written including sponsored posts and linkys of your own - join in! </span></span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-61615608322124740152015-01-04T22:25:00.001+00:002015-01-08T09:49:15.396+00:00Don't Leave Me!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLJIRL3W0bNFBWe780VqGuZYOSXBFU7_mKL7R8Zy4yaGlgeKacmvEQm-nae11lchFAkBv9KlRsVyrRJFao_30YYu1uHO-TKVs8MPL9WMW2ps7enjHBGFWZARVjsZq5u96fUM4usPsBTg/s1600/Toddler+Ping+Pong.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLJIRL3W0bNFBWe780VqGuZYOSXBFU7_mKL7R8Zy4yaGlgeKacmvEQm-nae11lchFAkBv9KlRsVyrRJFao_30YYu1uHO-TKVs8MPL9WMW2ps7enjHBGFWZARVjsZq5u96fUM4usPsBTg/s1600/Toddler+Ping+Pong.jpg" height="640" width="456" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Who will I play Toddler Ping Pong with now hubs is back at work?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It’s the big back-to-work day and I’m not
ready. I’m the lucky one – it’s my husband going back to work, not me. This
time last year I was delighted to get back to “my ship, my rules”, but this
year I don’t want him to go. Who will I play toddler ping pong with?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I already have holiday nostalgia – looking
back with my prosecco-tinted spectacles at all the lovely family moments we
shared. With the sound turned down by the power of hindsight, I needn’t
remember that I was cursing him for not buying the right kind of batteries or
that he was querying why we had seven Chocolate Oranges in the house but no loo
roll. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Despite these gooey memories, I’m cool with
Christmas being over. I’m happy it’s the new year and all that. It’s not a
festive comedown that afflicts me. I just feel a little lonely. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Sure, I have my gorgeous little toddler
still at home when the other two are at school. And I’m never without my good
pals Dishwasher and Washing Machine. Old Washy certainly won’t notice that the
man of the house has gone back to the office – but I will. He makes me laugh
when I drop a tub of brandy butter on my new slippers. He dilutes the madness
of our household. When I want to divert our toddler so I can concentrate on the
other two / the inside of my eyelids, I just need to say, “Where’s daddy?” and
off he trots.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Last January, I was relieved to pack him
off to the train, the poor dear. Generally I prefer to be left to my own
devices, to not feel like I need to justify my being at home by ostentatiously trotting
in front of him like a dancing pony, a laundry basket on my head, juggling kids’
reading books and nutritious homemade lasagnes in my ragged hooves. Perhaps because
he has reassured me that he values my role at home, or perhaps because I’ve
finally realised that he doesn’t notice what I’m carrying unless it is a tray
of cocktail sausage rolls, I feel I can relax a little (as he’s always telling
me to do). And now he’s going!</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But, as they say, absence makes the heart
grow fonder. Or crosser – one of the two. I’m sure by tonight I’ll be tutting
because he’s home at 7.31 instead of 7.30pm. But my toddler will be delighted to
have finally “found Daddy”.</span></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Are you sad or glad when your partner goes
back to work?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/wrymummy" target="_blank">Like me on Facebook!</a></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">How different things were last year:</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://wrymummy.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/off-to-work-you-go-please-dear.html" target="_blank">Off To Work You Go - Please Dear!</a></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"></span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US">
</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-79620954068448852552014-12-31T09:17:00.000+00:002014-12-31T10:03:26.819+00:00Hosting Hacks For NYE<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga7x6Gc4fnTTvDeA8Q9S31La4LaoG-YX0nLv0GKTpkMrp9M3dpuu4eYzyD2_BG3l5580QlGgLV_DWc0DMekLr7pJcP3MNfg4Kb4DgHpTksFG7Ysg70HENF62ut782maEbWzd3Ogp4Uow/s1600/Hosting+Hacks+Prosecco+centrepiece.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga7x6Gc4fnTTvDeA8Q9S31La4LaoG-YX0nLv0GKTpkMrp9M3dpuu4eYzyD2_BG3l5580QlGgLV_DWc0DMekLr7pJcP3MNfg4Kb4DgHpTksFG7Ysg70HENF62ut782maEbWzd3Ogp4Uow/s1600/Hosting+Hacks+Prosecco+centrepiece.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>Bamboozle them with Twiglets</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Create a booze’n’snacks smokescreen. </span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">I cannot stress
this enough. Nothing draws the eye like a glinting wineglass and a bowl of
tortilla chips – while the guests dip, they won’t notice the tip.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Wear an apron </span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">= instant hostess. For added
effect, dust your cheek with a becoming dab of flour, implying you’ve just made
your own pastry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Have a steadying drink.</span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"> But open a new
bottle when the guests come – it makes them feel special. And stops them
suspecting that you’re already two sheets to the wind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghlpR4rUbjMte9kNVCfDUGHp3sRtiw3HBwnEeb4EjLDJ-haw0d_Aa9VgQBh68U5s7vkUnChJXu-oAvrSMaQKcOMgPiQ8ad6Hn4mwNey47gz0fQe6btgIxZtLaSNTJeZjWRfgzbE_87SA/s1600/Hosting+Hacks+drain+unblocker.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghlpR4rUbjMte9kNVCfDUGHp3sRtiw3HBwnEeb4EjLDJ-haw0d_Aa9VgQBh68U5s7vkUnChJXu-oAvrSMaQKcOMgPiQ8ad6Hn4mwNey47gz0fQe6btgIxZtLaSNTJeZjWRfgzbE_87SA/s1600/Hosting+Hacks+drain+unblocker.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nobody needs to know...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Hide the sick bucket</span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">, toilet unblocker, fly
spray, Immodium, Calpol, nit shampoo, dirty nappies and any other indicator
that all is not well in your household.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Dress yourself before the house. </span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Would you rather
be told your skirting boards are immaculate or that you look great? Ditch the
mop until you’ve done your mascara. If you don’t manage to do the floor,
pretend your kid just spilled a drink that minute. Rather that than they go
away saying, “Doesn’t she look <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">old</i>?”
in the car on the way home.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Plan in advance.</span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"> Whatever you do, don’t
take your three children who found a rogue packet of jelly sweets in the back
of the car on the way there to the largest Tesco in the land and make up the
menu while pushing the trolley through the toy aisle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Don’t punch above your weight.</span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"> I’ve never made
a soufflé so this is not the time to start. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Bake a cake. </span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">This is more for a
daytime event, but having a cake in the oven makes both an amazing, welcoming
smell as they come in - and you look good. Plus you can get all the kids to ice it later on, thus appearing like a top mum and saving yourself the embarrassment of making a hash of it yourself (or is that just me?).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Sweep everything from surfaces into drawers</span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">. Try and ignore all the stuff shoved in there from your last Christmas
tidy-up. Bills over 12 months old don’t need to be paid, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Leave out a half-finished board game,</span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"> giving the
impression that your children have spent the day gainfully engaged. You
definitely did not just turn off <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Frozen</i>
when the doorbell went.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Put chocolates on the pillow. </span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Your sheets may have been dyed in the wash, but who’s going to notice with a bowl of Smarties on the
bedside table?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWJ1j3_Os993EjsM6zTe3tAogwe2-PYQZ8JKF-yx8POKMychjunAvIdiLsvHw7cc489R5pC7OsBJgZrH2kZIKrhGXoC5DrukV0rJq0TTgE_T4f8IpthvXtEXWr8nlZ8sECV26U2zvs7Q/s1600/Hosting+Hacks+limes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWJ1j3_Os993EjsM6zTe3tAogwe2-PYQZ8JKF-yx8POKMychjunAvIdiLsvHw7cc489R5pC7OsBJgZrH2kZIKrhGXoC5DrukV0rJq0TTgE_T4f8IpthvXtEXWr8nlZ8sECV26U2zvs7Q/s1600/Hosting+Hacks+limes.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't sweat the limes!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Clear up while drunk.</span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"> So much less painful
than doing it with a hangover and the kids clamouring around your shaky knees. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><br /></span>
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><b>Don't fret about limes in the Corona:</b> Quite a specific one this, but it saved me some angst and an hour of fruitless skewering - I checked and it's OK to recycle beer bottles with lime inside. Yes! Just in case you're planning a Mexican-themed evening!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Focus on the fun not the food.</span></b><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"> It’s New Year’s
Eve! Who cares if pudding is a load of leftover cheese and a box of chocolates
with only the coffee crèmes left?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Happy New Year’s Eve!</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/wrymummy" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta; font-size: large;">If you like this, Like me on Facebook!</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">An idea for after-dinner fun:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><a href="http://wrymummy.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/the-christmas-quiz-for-parents.html" target="_blank">The Christmas Quiz for Parents</a> </span><a href="http://wrymummy.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/how-to-guest-proof-your-house-in-five.html" target="_blank">How To Guest-Proof Your House in Five Minutes</a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><o:p><br /></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-53536347229289889652014-12-30T10:23:00.000+00:002014-12-30T10:23:42.216+00:00The Worryingly Domesticated's Christmas Haul<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I used to think homeware was for squares. Now give me a new loo brush and I'm in ecstasy. My descent into Worryingly Domesticatedness reached new levels this Christmas.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I got some lovely things for Christmas, but my standout present wasn't the home spa set (lovely but straight in the drawer of stuff I will use One Day). It was a tablecloth. Is it because having children fulfils you so you no longer desire material things? Or is it because they pong out the loo, so cleaning products have become an obsession?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Christmas Lust List: Then and Now</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">All is not lost though...</span></div>
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<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/wrymummy" target="_blank">For more like this, Like me on Facebook!</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You may also like my tale of the Ghosts of Christmas Lists Past and Present, in <a href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/guest_posts/a2265660-Guest-post-The-new-mums-Christmas-Carol" target="_blank">A New Mum's Christmas Carol</a>, on Mumsnet.</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Picture credits: Cartier, Tiffany, Dyson websites</span></i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-27159780648667833132014-12-19T09:55:00.000+00:002014-12-19T14:02:03.437+00:00The Christmas Quiz for Parents<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">There’s nothing like a festive quiz for passing the night in
merriment / causing massive inter-spouse rows at Christmas. If you have a
gathering of friends or family one evening, why not try this Christmas Quiz?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Round 1: Snog, Marry, Avoid</span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In case you don’t know the rules of this inestimable game,
you are given three names and have to decide whether you would snog, marry or
avoid them (this is the PG version after all):<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Kwazii, Captain Barnacles and
Peso</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Andy, Mister Bloom and Alex</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Cerrie, Cat and Nina</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Kate’s dad in Kate and Mim-Mim,
Old Jack and Grandpa (of In My Pocket fame)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Mr Tumble, Justin and Captain
Adorable</span></li>
</ol>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Round 2: General Parental Knowledge</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Is the step from one to two worse
than two to three children?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Name the two last CBeebies Christmas pantos.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Who is more annoying, Tig in Woolly and Tig or Jason from Grandpa in My Pocket?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Give an example of a diagraph.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What does the mouse tell the
snake is the Gruffalo’s favourite food?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What is the lady car in </span><i style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Cars</i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> called?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What does the hungry caterpillar
eat on Thursday?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Has Granny Murray ever done
anything but smile?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What is Peppa and George’s baby
cousin called?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">When do babies sleep through the
night? a) at two weeks b) at three months c) still waiting.</span></li>
</ol>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Bonus round: Roxanauts</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You may have played the brilliant drinking game, Roxanne. So
simple it’s genius. You listen to the Police song Roxanne, half of you drink
when Sting sings “Roxanne”, the other half when he sings, “you don’t have to
put on a red light”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Well, for the parents’ version, simply find an episode of
Octonauts and as much booze as possible. Everyone choose a character: Kwazii,
Barnacles, Peso and the star creature of that particular episode are the main
ones. If you have more than four players, choose two each from Shellington,
Dashi, Tweak, Professor Inkling, the Tunips and whatever secondary sea creature is
going down in that show. Whenever your character speaks, take a draught. Also
be attentive to the following rules:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">“Sound the Octoalert!” – everyone takes a shot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Whenever Barnacles patronises Dashi or Tweak - dads down
their drinks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Theme music – everyone runs around pretending to be
driving a Gup. And drinking.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Note: Anyone caught Googling has to neck their drink plus the person to their left's.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Let me me know your answers in the comments - I'm especially intrigued about the split between Andy and Mister Bloom admirers.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="color: red; font-size: large;">Merry Christmas </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #274e13; font-size: large;">and a Happy New Year!</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Yours Wryly,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting";"><span style="font-size: large;">Jess</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/wrymummy" target="_blank"><span style="color: magenta;">For more posts like this, like my Facebook page!</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-39707471116065682512014-12-08T12:47:00.000+00:002014-12-19T14:23:03.620+00:00What To Give The Distracted Mother: Malcolm & Gerald Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDIqSwfscigqjNBfULsC6gsbRGF-xeQiPkqLpG0xKS7hsvrS0-XzSH8w5B4RI4SbkK005zGWPlTVXfUchS7n2pPdkH6qGA_QoJfTyZFyqvQYgdD3Kc-_zI6PnAClolyZIpngd9E1lIhQ/s1600/Gold+coin+Malcolm+&+Gerald.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDIqSwfscigqjNBfULsC6gsbRGF-xeQiPkqLpG0xKS7hsvrS0-XzSH8w5B4RI4SbkK005zGWPlTVXfUchS7n2pPdkH6qGA_QoJfTyZFyqvQYgdD3Kc-_zI6PnAClolyZIpngd9E1lIhQ/s1600/Gold+coin+Malcolm+&+Gerald.JPG" height="640" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">“Ed! I mean, Henry! I mean, Rex!” Nothing
dilutes a mother’s power more than showing weakness. And what greater weakness
does a mother have than forgetting the name of the child born of her own
loins, the name she chose herself after months of deliberation /
celebrity-pregnancy stalking. The name she murmured into his tiny ear through
those long, dark nights. The name she proudly announced to the world. The name
she sang to soothe him. The handle she uses to roast him for still not having
put his school shoes on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">The more children you have, the worse it gets. </span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Having to do a triple-splutter until I get to the offending target drives me to
apoplexy and the children to hysterics, swiftly followed by indifference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By the time I’ve got to the right one,
they’ve drifted off to cause more mischief elsewhere in the house, used to my
impotent stuttering. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Yet if other people get their names wrong...the
hackles rise, the bristles bristle, the finger hovers over “Delete friend on
Facebook.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">So what to do? One way would be to simply
improve my memory and facial recognition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yet I fear that by the time I’ve worked out how to do Sudoko, thus
acquiring the powers of Bourne, my children won’t be emptying family-sized tubs
of aqueous cream on the floor. They’ll be driving themselves to work. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">So in the meantime, what about putting stickers
on their tops? Sounds like a good idea, but I have three words for you: washing
machine filter. Simply writing their names on their foreheads could work, but
apart from getting strange looks in the park, this also smacks of drinking
games to me, which doesn’t seem appropriate at all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">One shout fits all?</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">What about not telling them off at all (um...!) or
telling them all off at once – a kind of “one shout fits all” approach?
Although my children often conspire in their naughtiness, there are times when
it really is just one of them that needs reprimanding. There is no chagrin
greater than a child unfairly accused.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Worst of all is when you have something nice to
say to one of them and get their name wrong – hence losing the moment where the
full force of your love and pride gets conveyed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Never get your children's names wrong again!</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Luckily, the lovely team at <a href="http://www.malcolmandgerald.co.uk/" target="_blank">Malcolm and Gerald</a>
have sent me not one, not two, but three personalized tops for my boys, all
with different designs to suit their personalities and interests. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyzFSDDsaUWFNBQtslGScwYxpZzpjqwm69vTOXsA7A5CWEirjUH3A2qXghUb1mUguiaG3DASVfBNfrLf0tOC_0gAfnXGS_OVDf8UByeFMOi_p46xuFWNkVVZBdNTxxzP0WXSErUHsfOA/s1600/Patto1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyzFSDDsaUWFNBQtslGScwYxpZzpjqwm69vTOXsA7A5CWEirjUH3A2qXghUb1mUguiaG3DASVfBNfrLf0tOC_0gAfnXGS_OVDf8UByeFMOi_p46xuFWNkVVZBdNTxxzP0WXSErUHsfOA/s1600/Patto1.jpg" height="425" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My oldest is now very into rugby and football – goodbye weekends - so this sport-style one is perfect for him.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9arPE9JwK80mOAnhzOwS6yf1P3moEUQ5dJEQHaCwiByZllq6UgtYL9x78H4Pg1MJ0USathAenltIx4exYHJY2lt6Raszyd6BNceaspEhZEftEcaMaZrHLpkU8vLDu7vczuWZbWv_fHQ/s1600/Benja+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9arPE9JwK80mOAnhzOwS6yf1P3moEUQ5dJEQHaCwiByZllq6UgtYL9x78H4Pg1MJ0USathAenltIx4exYHJY2lt6Raszyd6BNceaspEhZEftEcaMaZrHLpkU8vLDu7vczuWZbWv_fHQ/s1600/Benja+2.JPG" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Who doesn't love a rocket?</i></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAmaBRasJRf5APvt88C2ppfaNdBm3CMBANHqIvuPg9qjzINvxivjHoQwUvygLrBMJ4j422-XBDkPBom_pXc9-Re533J5bGHG1DzlNjLs5EwGF0V50I9Qnt5HVl4na0ccg19gYG1mIsBA/s1600/Rexasaurus.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAmaBRasJRf5APvt88C2ppfaNdBm3CMBANHqIvuPg9qjzINvxivjHoQwUvygLrBMJ4j422-XBDkPBom_pXc9-Re533J5bGHG1DzlNjLs5EwGF0V50I9Qnt5HVl4na0ccg19gYG1mIsBA/s1600/Rexasaurus.JPG" height="640" width="640" /></a></span></div>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i>My youngest is all about the “RARRRING”, so it had to be a dinosaur for him.</i></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Of course, the tops are not solely for the
purpose of correct scolding, but for the children to enjoy. My boys certainly
do love their new tops with their own names on. My toddler has already fed his dinosaur Cheerios. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Since I seem only to breed males, I can’t show
you any of my offspring sporting one of the fab girls’ tops, but here’s one of my favourite designs from the website.</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtOk7XR8KbW74mY0xs_8PEH_oVBjsu9CBllv26g8ZVPhO0rGC34ls-oaXglxmgwVbcr2tB3HostJYo9ijhOoAlowh9d3tiI2gkMvksmiAEbsXcqkYVsy_2TFnfDS50OGYX9-NTrQ-v3Q/s1600/Girls+T-shirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtOk7XR8KbW74mY0xs_8PEH_oVBjsu9CBllv26g8ZVPhO0rGC34ls-oaXglxmgwVbcr2tB3HostJYo9ijhOoAlowh9d3tiI2gkMvksmiAEbsXcqkYVsy_2TFnfDS50OGYX9-NTrQ-v3Q/s1600/Girls+T-shirt.jpg" height="640" width="512" /></a></span></div>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">These T-shirts are great quality, wash really
well and look gorgeous. The company also offers fab personalised bags, hoodies and well cute babygros. This is their cute tag: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCwXgKnLYGtQVAt4wnVGs6Hyl2CjrPyhYLDjo0fWzn_CsC6GknoVy0GrKADoWcJd53gAG4xjiPM6oLyWNBIr_iAnf3G2xCzO09TvXCWkpimnG4vke4EDcLdeOddpAGWrV5_XiNtLsnkw/s1600/Malcolm+tag.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCwXgKnLYGtQVAt4wnVGs6Hyl2CjrPyhYLDjo0fWzn_CsC6GknoVy0GrKADoWcJd53gAG4xjiPM6oLyWNBIr_iAnf3G2xCzO09TvXCWkpimnG4vke4EDcLdeOddpAGWrV5_XiNtLsnkw/s1600/Malcolm+tag.JPG" height="640" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; text-align: start;"><i>The brand was named after Malcolm the monkey and Gerald the giraffe, the beloved companions of Alex (aged 6) and Charlie (aged 2). They (the boys not the toys!) were the inspiration for the M&G clothing line. </i></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The perfect gift for the distracted mother</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">If you’re fortunate enough to have your
children’s names licked without visual aids, perhaps consider a mother you know
who’s not so blessed. I think these are lovely Christmas gifts, and the
packaging makes them all the more special.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAll0OoRy_hYJi3a5yMepCmkiIcqwaQkkA1yfZd67cF_CswmjXql3ioidVrx_Cs5UQMfL_zvr8FRFVgl8S-cRTdqtKpjwPyiHAFkWjXzDDjWyhfoc-Q6m5xf7iA38oWdYUU3oF7VgV4g/s1600/Packaging3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAll0OoRy_hYJi3a5yMepCmkiIcqwaQkkA1yfZd67cF_CswmjXql3ioidVrx_Cs5UQMfL_zvr8FRFVgl8S-cRTdqtKpjwPyiHAFkWjXzDDjWyhfoc-Q6m5xf7iA38oWdYUU3oF7VgV4g/s1600/Packaging3.JPG" height="640" width="640" /></a><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiviUnBDBqbTmCGmUx3sS8EECFINdOv51yjtOyWI4TMpYWIgB-yvIbLT4h4h-GKTSM6CoxFC6rhBnGUy3ojpzPN0LO78MfkpsiLEpGn1vSTcCz63JBMseps91kfSa0UdtcZsslIau9jCw/s1600/Packaging.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5qDFmtIDiB-tqSdS8GCH-3ZFjmtQMIEN0RpM7QYcCAm8u6qg9DxFvAvl1jBOp6saAAmtjpfwqB8SvnPdXu3ETXrxo4lQu2VGWb7Iq2qCdGsb6W4w55hVu_bLVq70TMFmga34ftUucXg/s1600/Storage.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5qDFmtIDiB-tqSdS8GCH-3ZFjmtQMIEN0RpM7QYcCAm8u6qg9DxFvAvl1jBOp6saAAmtjpfwqB8SvnPdXu3ETXrxo4lQu2VGWb7Iq2qCdGsb6W4w55hVu_bLVq70TMFmga34ftUucXg/s1600/Storage.JPG" height="640" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Also a handy storage solution!<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz8hFbIXLtR6KTpiwzljdZwZgYrX8-CYgEBB0ch3ZSZ7kWa3bY9M3SECvsZO_oaPa9nCSRKApDLi2VvKpJKvR8E1DFnACk5XwUexh1lckT0uQZ0DVgAx_aShkAPL8VQtyE305xCR3fSQ/s1600/Baby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz8hFbIXLtR6KTpiwzljdZwZgYrX8-CYgEBB0ch3ZSZ7kWa3bY9M3SECvsZO_oaPa9nCSRKApDLi2VvKpJKvR8E1DFnACk5XwUexh1lckT0uQZ0DVgAx_aShkAPL8VQtyE305xCR3fSQ/s1600/Baby.jpg" height="640" width="512" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Almost making me broody! (I jest, husband)</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;">LIke me on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/wrymummy" target="_blank">Facebook</a>!</span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-26202861228724225262014-12-03T14:58:00.002+00:002014-12-07T17:29:06.926+00:00Blind and Partially Sighted 11-Year-Olds Are Twice As Likely To Be Bullied At School<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEietpaNt1hH83g4TOwhz6Ghuq0Lgs3mRyfd1ybtsGBe7xhChNKQ3RTRAdSG9S_ddcsd8s__lO1Bgh0xJJnZildrh0tSME9-BIVujGH0MuKXoILikwDTLxVyyge4c8sXC7vrBQitCn-CIA/s1600/SylviaandZoe1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEietpaNt1hH83g4TOwhz6Ghuq0Lgs3mRyfd1ybtsGBe7xhChNKQ3RTRAdSG9S_ddcsd8s__lO1Bgh0xJJnZildrh0tSME9-BIVujGH0MuKXoILikwDTLxVyyge4c8sXC7vrBQitCn-CIA/s1600/SylviaandZoe1.png" height="299" width="640" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Zoe and her grandmother Sylvia, who drives her on a 50-mile round trip <br />every week for much-needed support at a RLSB drop-in centre</i></span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Children with
sight loss are twice as likely as fully sighted children to be bullied or
picked on by other children</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">A report out today reveals that blind
and partially sighted children are less confident, find it harder to make
friends, are less physically active and are more likely to live in financial
hardship. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .1pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: .1pt; mso-para-margin-bottom: .01gd; mso-para-margin-left: 0cm; mso-para-margin-right: 0cm; mso-para-margin-top: .01gd;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #222222;"><a href="http://www.rlsb.org.uk/blogs/blind-and-partially-sighted-11-year-olds-twice-as-likely-to-be-bullied-at-school" target="_blank">Sight Impairment at 11</a></span></i><span style="color: #222222;"> has been produced by </span><span style="color: #222222;">The Royal London Society for Blind People (RLSB) and the Royal National
Institute of Blind People in collaboration with NatCen Social Research. It highlights
</span>that children with sight impairment and an additional
disability are particularly at risk of emotional difficulties, being socially
isolated and doing poorly at school. More than one in four live below the
poverty line.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This is an issue close to my heart as I
used to volunteer at a local drop-in centre in London for vision impaired
people and am a long-term befriender of Thomas*, who was 17 when I met him. Now
I am pleased to call him my friend.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Happily, Thomas was (and is) confident,
self-motivated and very sporty, but this was not the case for many of the young
people whom I met at the centre, which was similar to those run by the RLSB.
They lacked confidence, were struggling at school and found it hard to interact
socially.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #222222;">Without the right
support many young people are at risk of missing out on the very things that
make childhood so important</span></b><span style="color: #222222;"> – security, friendship and a sense of self confidence. However,
the results of the research also demonstrate that with the right kinds of early intervention
blind and partially sighted children can flourish. For example, vision
impaired children benefit from workshops that build confidence and teach social
skills for making friends. </span><span style="color: #222222;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So
what can be done?<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #222222;">Both charities say that they are committed to working
with local authorities to support the work they are doing with vision impaired
young people and their families.</span><span style="color: #222222;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">To help young blind children reach their
potential, the RLSB provides support at an early age at their family drop-in
centres, where they also assist parents how to bring up a blind child.
Unfortunately these life-changing services are limited and they are hoping to
open more in 2015, making support more accessible to families who need it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">More
centres are desperately needed<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Many of the young people I met as a
volunteer had to travel an hour or more - by two or more buses - to get to the
centre. The scarcity of such centres is an issue for Sylvia, pictured above, who
drives her granddaughter Zoe on a 50 mile round trip each week to one of the
RLSB’s family drop-in services, simply as there isn’t one closer to her. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #222222;">The
RLSB are currently running a Christmas appeal</span></b><span style="color: #222222;"> to enable them to open three more
groups in London and the South East. But until that time, Sylvia says that
these drop-in centres are “worth every mile to get there”.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If
you would like to help, please:<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #222222;"><a href="http://www.rlsb.org.uk/" target="_blank">Find out more</a></span></b><span style="color: #222222;"> </span></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #222222;"><a href="http://www.rlsb.org.uk/appeals/zoe" target="_blank">Donate</a></span></b><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-size: large;">Share</span></span></b><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> this post to spread
awareness, using the social media buttons below. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Twitter tags: </span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #1f497d; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">@RLSBcharity @RNIB #SightLossAt11</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #1f497d;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background: white; color: #1f497d;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Read more about Sylvia and Zoe's story in their <a href="http://honestmum.com/learn-live-beyond-sight-loss-beat-bullies/" target="_blank">guest post</a> for Honest Mum.</span></span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #1f497d;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #1f497d;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">*Name changed</span></span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #1f497d;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background: white; color: #1f497d;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Linking up with </span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://www.vevivos.com/2014/12/05/post-comment-love-newbie-showcase-5th-7th-december-2014/" target="_blank">#</a></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1f497d; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.vevivos.com/2014/12/05/post-comment-love-newbie-showcase-5th-7th-december-2014/" target="_blank">PoCoLo</a>. </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-27033014415414620152014-12-03T14:53:00.000+00:002014-12-04T14:56:17.113+00:00100 Happy Posts<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP9VpxCkge8CJ5AzR78x7687SQGAvy8OWdMk4Uwer8ZDrFTrCf2IzSAgaNguNbnfp1s4_n0FOhrw3JaTdtQHH-vmgc1_3UPQdt9ntfKAG3_ZE8-LhfHIm7tH9fIM0QsBLff-jjM8mUNg/s1600/100+Happy+Postsi.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP9VpxCkge8CJ5AzR78x7687SQGAvy8OWdMk4Uwer8ZDrFTrCf2IzSAgaNguNbnfp1s4_n0FOhrw3JaTdtQHH-vmgc1_3UPQdt9ntfKAG3_ZE8-LhfHIm7tH9fIM0QsBLff-jjM8mUNg/s1600/100+Happy+Postsi.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Why, I don't look a day over 99!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Woohoo,
Wry Mummy is 100 today!</b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I am ridiculously excited to announce that
this is my 100</span><sup style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">th</sup><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> post!</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Thank you so much to my lovely readers for showing a sniff of interest
when I press Publish!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">To celebrate my centenary, I have picked
out some of my favourites from my Happy Hundred. Don’t worry, you don’t have to read them – it just makes me
smile to see some of my little babies there.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Stuck for a gift? Simply </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Like me on </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/wrymummy" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;" target="_blank">Facebook</a><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://wrymummy.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/the-present-face-time-to-get-practicing.html" target="_blank">The Present Face – Time To Get Practicing</a>.
My first <a href="http://www.mumsnet.com/" target="_blank">Mumsnet</a> Blog of the Day! I smiled for a week.</span></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><span style="background: white; color: #444444;">When my son opened his
birthday present, his face looked like we’d just shot our dog. We don’t even
have a dog.</span><span style="color: #444444;"> </span></i></span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wrymummy.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/the-shouting-bra-and-other-mummy.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The Shouting Bra, and Other Mummy Essentials</span></a></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #444444;"><i>You can’t command
respect naked. Not even from your kids. Hence, I propose a Mumswear diffusion
line, starting with The Shouting Bra and the Pants of Power.</i></span></span><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> </span></span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://wrymummy.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/if-you-prick-us-mums-do-we-not-bleed.html" target="_blank">If You Prick Us Mums, Do We Not Bleed?</a> </span></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="background-color: white; color: #444444; line-height: 18.2000007629395px;">
<i><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If you prick us mums, do we not bleed? </span></span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If you tickle us, do we not wee a little bit?</span></span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If you’re sick in our hair, do we not blench?</span></span></i></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://wrymummy.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/the-mummy-tightrope.html" target="_blank">The Mummy Tightrope</a></span></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #444444; font-style: italic;">As I sat there on the
sofa, lip wobbling, with a boy either side of me engrossed in (by now)</span><span style="color: #444444; font-style: italic;"> </span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #444444; font-style: italic;">Mike the Knight</span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #444444;"><i>, and a baby happily emptying out a bag of nappy
sacks by my feet, I had an epiphany. They weren't dwelling in the past or
dreading the future: they were enjoying the present. And I realised that when I
am next wobbling on the Mummy Tightrope, I should just remember this: "</i>Do</span><span style="color: #444444; font-style: italic;"> </span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #444444; font-style: italic;">look down".</span></span></blockquote>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://wrymummy.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/i-hope-ill-smile-at-children-in.html" target="_blank">I Hope I’ll Smile At Children In The Supermarket Aisle</a>. This wasn’t a very happy post – in fact, I was crying a bit
as I wrote it. But it is a message of hope that I won’t become the Wicked Witch of Waitrose, who shoots daggers at children for being – children. </span></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="line-height: 18.2000007629395px;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I hope I’ll smile at children in the supermarket aisle,</span></span></i><br />
<i style="line-height: 18.2000007629395px;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Not look at them as if I’d never seen something so vile.</span></span></i><br />
<i style="line-height: 18.2000007629395px;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I hope I will remember when my own children were young</span></span></i><br />
<i style="line-height: 18.2000007629395px;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">That all I wanted was someone to say to me, “Well done.”</span></span></i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 18.2000007629395px;"> </span></blockquote>
</blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://wrymummy.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/cleaning-up-chunks-mothers-glory_10.html" target="_blank">Cleaning Up Chunks – A Mother’s Glory</a> And lastly, my first ever post, and still possibly my favourite.</span></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #444444;"><i>As I root out the
chunks, I think grim thoughts about my husband, by now probably gently snoozing
with our child nestled adorably in his arms. My only consolation is that with
each breath he is inhaling the sick bug while germs seep into his pores from
our poor infant’s soft skin.</i></span></span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Yours wryly,</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting";"><span style="font-size: large;">Jess</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Proud mother of 100</i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US">#</span><span lang="EN-US">100HappyPosts</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: large;">Like me on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/wrymummy" target="_blank">Facebook</a>!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US"><div align="center">
<a href="http://www.mumofthreeworld.com/" target="_blank" title="Mum of Three World"><img alt="Mum of Three World" src="http://i1268.photobucket.com/albums/jj569/3childrenandit/LoudnProudMumofThreeWorld_zpseccde287.jpg" style="border: none;" /></a></div>
</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05101400922915784452noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24197926816570379.post-26467915725871549962014-12-01T23:46:00.000+00:002014-12-04T14:33:48.159+00:00'Tis the Season For Babysitting Bingo <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXrTzHNonYmB12IxKUIPGM_I2-q-uA4fUMMBUKpgPViCTG3pet9AGyxNf9hJ2ydQjQhykiL1Oy5h6D1pwOOyRzSVb8klafIb2Q59KVQrlPGGFphhIFoN-uNzyNGKOaNfdf-fKeeStSQg/s1600/Babysitting+Bingo+final.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXrTzHNonYmB12IxKUIPGM_I2-q-uA4fUMMBUKpgPViCTG3pet9AGyxNf9hJ2ydQjQhykiL1Oy5h6D1pwOOyRzSVb8klafIb2Q59KVQrlPGGFphhIFoN-uNzyNGKOaNfdf-fKeeStSQg/s1600/Babysitting+Bingo+final.jpg" height="492" width="640" /></span></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We don’t get out much, us mums. But when we do,
it’s in December. Cards at the ready – you’re about to play babysitting bingo!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Christmas throws upon
us the heady mix of more social occasions than the rest of the year put
together, and the organisational nightmare of arranging childcare so we can
attend. You are pitted against the other parents in the town in pursuit of a
babysitter not only for one night, but potentially several. School occasions
see you competing for sitters against your own classmates, from a pool of often
common childcarers. Your fourth favourite girl at your child’s old nursery now
seems like a golden option.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">December = Diary-Gate<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Throw into the mix
your work / husband’s work parties and you’re in Diary-Gate. Whose occasion is
more worthy? If you’re the one expected to babysit that night, is your event
eligible for engaging a sitter? Like most people, we end up negotiating madly
and in the end our social scene in December is dictated by babysitter availability,
not personal preference. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I’d rather disclose my
bra size than my babysitter’s number<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If there’s a secret
you keep closer to your chest, I should like to know it. It’s all very well in,
say, March, to succumb to another mum’s plight and give out a reliable
babysitter’s number. But come December and you’re both going to the same class
drinks, you will rue that day, mark my words. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Rue it.</i> I’d rather offer to babysit myself than give up my premium
sitter, whom I have wooed over months and bamboozled into somehow liking my
children enough to enter the evening with enthusiasm.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">were</i> to help a friend in need by sharing
a top sitter’s number, I would have to privately enforce an embargo, whereby I
should always get first refusal. All this is laughable, of course. Market
forces are at work here as in every other sphere, and she with the most
generous hourly rate and the handsomest plate of biscuits shall win the prize.
Loyalty counts for nothing in the face of M&S’s chocolate biscuit selection
box.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Christmas Day – the
calm before the babysitting storm</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">At least when the big
day dawns, there are no babysitting dilemmas to be overcome. Roast potato rows
– how many is enough? – yes. Present palavers – yes. But no baby-sitting
bust-ups. But after a few days of Quality Street-induced inertia, we seek to
rise again, like the social phoenix from the ashes. For it is time to see in
the New Year. It is time to nail down the prize. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The most
elusive of all things – the New Years’ Eve babysitter</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This is someone whom
I’ve yet to meet. Every NYE since I’ve had children has been spent in with a
curry, my husband and, occasionally, other parents who’ve put the kids to bed
upstairs. Which has been lovely. Good job, as the cost and gamesmanship of obtaining
a NYE sitter is pretty much beyond me. I have semi-secured one on a couple of
occasions, only to be let down with some spurious flu or family-related excuse
and 12 hours’ notice. But by that time, I am battle-weary. I’m quite happy to
give up the chase and stay in for the next eleven months. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #6aa84f; font-size: large;">Happy Christmas
Countdown!</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Like me on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/wrymummy" target="_blank">Facebook</a>!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<div class="fb-like" data-action="like" data-href="https://facebook.com/wrymummy" data-layout="standard" data-share="false" data-show-faces="false">
</div>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">
</span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You may also like:</span></span></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWBM6Lp8mzx6Ua1OUTtKfr4ejzpayBygMbDw3K3v-B-SBjqIdfJLOWsB-jNvoBe_L0mIP2tE6JppLSfm0E-BM1EfXcFNpjzE0i-lQgzXVmXXCJNzIG7NAzpmw6b7we-gerDEhCVduqHQ/s1600/Blog-+Nativity+photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWBM6Lp8mzx6Ua1OUTtKfr4ejzpayBygMbDw3K3v-B-SBjqIdfJLOWsB-jNvoBe_L0mIP2tE6JppLSfm0E-BM1EfXcFNpjzE0i-lQgzXVmXXCJNzIG7NAzpmw6b7we-gerDEhCVduqHQ/s1600/Blog-+Nativity+photo.JPG" height="200" width="200" /></a></span></b></div>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://wrymummy.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/the-nativity-diarygate.html" target="_blank">The Nativity:Diarygate</a> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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